THE CRUEL ME??? OR HE???

The period of life, a testing time

All that he worked for was falling around him, the vultures encircling and crowding around him.
A piece of land, a few pennies or more, scavengers collecting and wanting more.
Stop your cruelty he beseeched them, holding them responsible for the mayhem.
As time went by, the atrocities they grew, he also found his options to be few.
He screamed and cried at fate's cruel hands, that took from him his peace and land.
The more he cried the more unforgiving he got, and hurt those who were his kindered lot.
But what got him here he never dwelt, but blamed fate for the hand so unfairly dealt.
Why did it have to be me, wasn't my good nature for all to see?
Was my effort ever in doubt, was I not available at every call and shout?
Did I not do all that was required of me, even at the peril of my family and me?
Have I hitherto questioned why, coz for me it was always ‘I have to do it or die’

He asked for answers where there were none, until he critically examined his actions done.

Was this then my mistake, to do all it takes,
Without regard to the consequence, my steps to others make?
My singular selfish deeds that I condone myself for,
Were they ever with a thought for those I called on for?
That I did all I did without any remorse, and created a problem for most of my resource.
Who then is cruel knowth HE.... ITS HIM WHO TAKEth AND STILL AT TIMES SMILES WITH GLEE

THE SWEET TRANSITION

I often contemplate that life has come a long way & still has a long way to go. But at present, I can't help ignoring my inner voice, that smiles at me often & says ' Neha, you have finally become a girl'...Strange as it may sound. Yes, at the age of 22, I think I am finally no more a child but a girl in real sense. I don't even remember when my thoughts shifted from chocolates - toys - studies - dresses to friends - career - lover & parents.

I sometimes wonder if boys think so much? But atleast I know that somewhere every girl thinks that when did such a huge transition come in their lives. It was only yesterday when all I thought about was studies, homework, exams, gossips, crushes & what not. How come now they have been replaced by EXPECTATIONS? Expectations of our parents from my life, from my future decisions; expectations of my boyfriend, how he wants my support at every step in life... And expectations from my own self, how my life is, & how I want it to be. Expectations have always been there at every point in life but I think they are at the forefront now.

To be very frank, a girl comparatively matures faster than boys. Because not only she has to take care of her own self but also several other things & people around her. Biggest of them being Parents. A boy can be a child his entire life but a girl has to grow up at some time or the other. At the end she has to take care of the fact that every decision of hers is in accordance to what her parents think. There comes a time when she leaves her parents & moves forward to build an entire new family around her. And if something goes wrong, it has its own implications (Blahh Bla blaaaa)

Phew, how come I never thought about this earlier & now my mind is most of the time occupied with this. Thinking about others first & then about yourself. I am sure after 2 years, I will be thinking about something else as at some point a girl would transit itself into a women.

I so wish that in this journey I fulfil everyone's expectations & keep my place high in my own eyes. Let's see what life has more to teach (*wink*wink*) :)