Life's has been a bit of experience for me from past 4 years. Before that there was nothing in my life that was missing. A caring family, great friends, self contentment. It was everything an individual ever wanted. It was everything a 17 year old girl wanted. But life can never be complete without its twists and turns. One turn after another and i saw myself losing out to this World. The innocence, the faith, love, care, everything. Gradually going away, taking its new shape. Friends kept coming and going. I was so pre occupied with the situations that never got time to contemplate where i am heading towards. And now 4 years late, when i see myself, I cant see the real me. Definitely its somewhere hidden in me, afraid to come out. Or the monster in me does not want it to. Lost touch with friends, made new friends, got selfish in my own way. Hurting people, hurting myself has become something so common which i could not imagine in my life. I was good by heart. But now am not sure.
God has always bestowed his blessings on me. No matter how worse i turned, he always gave me people around me who loved and cared for me so much. And they still exist. But God has always been having his holds in teachin lessons which i so needed to learn in my life. One big blow and i was shattered from within. It was like you were in your fairy world, seeing your palace getting conquered by your enemies but still holding that conviction that you would win out of it somehow. But alas, things go out of your hands. That blow was so much that i lost my true self. And still not able to regain it. I got the lesson meant from it but have been unable to make out that why did i have to lose my innocence, my tolerance, my generosity along with it??? Did i truly learn what was meant to be? Why am i so hyper, so frusted with life now? I miss my own self. The one who had always been inside me. Things changed for godd and for bad but the belief still holds strong that i would achieve what i truly want. No matter how tough the path is.
Appologies to all my friends i left behind and for whom i could not be there when needed. I miss u all but more than that.... I MISS MYSELF
God has always bestowed his blessings on me. No matter how worse i turned, he always gave me people around me who loved and cared for me so much. And they still exist. But God has always been having his holds in teachin lessons which i so needed to learn in my life. One big blow and i was shattered from within. It was like you were in your fairy world, seeing your palace getting conquered by your enemies but still holding that conviction that you would win out of it somehow. But alas, things go out of your hands. That blow was so much that i lost my true self. And still not able to regain it. I got the lesson meant from it but have been unable to make out that why did i have to lose my innocence, my tolerance, my generosity along with it??? Did i truly learn what was meant to be? Why am i so hyper, so frusted with life now? I miss my own self. The one who had always been inside me. Things changed for godd and for bad but the belief still holds strong that i would achieve what i truly want. No matter how tough the path is.
Appologies to all my friends i left behind and for whom i could not be there when needed. I miss u all but more than that.... I MISS MYSELF
4 comments:
you know what i miss myself too.... n i felt like you described me... :) nice...
nicely written... mayb in the contemporary world we all r missing ourselves..
y 4 years ?? engineering ??
nt exactly.... talking abt the time i jst entered my grad college, now doing mba
in life, everything around you changes all the time..
its how you take those changes that makes it good or bad..
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